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Best Nine Memories from July

What can I say? July was full of ups and downs. Still though, since I write these as the new month starts I can tell you progress has been made.

One

We’re just a month away from hitting our one year mark in our home and since we’ve been here we’ve very much dedicated our time to the first floor. It’s gotten the most love as it’s where we mostly hang out and where we entertain, but over the past little while, I have been lacking in a peaceful feeling when going to bed. Organization is key, but let’s be honest, we don’t put our clothes away right after it comes out of the dryer, it may linger around for a couple days until we have a giant pile that we sort through. But during those in between days we’re in this constant movement of objects on and off the bed, a lack of order and a place for things made me feel like we’d never make progress. The colours were also so dark that it was hard to feel light and airy. Without thinking much more about it we sold the bed frame, moved out unnecessary furniture, and added a couple new fresh wooden pieces that immediately lifted the place up from its darkness. Now we feel so calm going to bed, draped in white and surrounded by so much less. Also, we’ve been very good about folding the laundry right away!

Two

Our wedding anniversary always stretches into July because of Canada Day and there always being a long weekend which we love. We starting the weekend with hitting some softballs at the range! Catching a midday movie and eating so much sushi. The rest of the weekend had us going to the beach and sleeping under the sun. Playing in the water and then sleeping some more. Some board games to close off the long week with mom and Kike was the perfect way to get back into regular life and back to another work week.

Three

I’ve been a workout from home type of girl for many years now. I found that I wanted to switch things up a bit. My mental health beat me down this month and those home workouts were not getting done, adding to the guilt and horrible feelings I was going through. I figured getting out of the house and making a monetary commitment would push me to break away from this lack of activity and it sure has. I just bought 10 one hour sessions with a martial arts trainer who has been kicking my ass. She leaves me breathless and sprawled on the floor in disbelief it’s over but also feeling so energized, strong, and proud of what I just accomplished. After seeing her for a couple weeks I started working out at home, and slowly my motivation has been coming back.

Four

It’s kind of cool how organically and easily your family grows. For many immigrants with little to no blood family around you create this wonderful chosen family. Sure, some of it comes through marriages and children, but it’s kind of wonderful how easily close friends become part of the ‘family club’. Our Latin roots pull us close and the shared pain and history of leaving our loved ones behind keep us leaning on one another. We had a wonderful day at the park with lots of our family. It was a huge event with the typical mountains of food and adorable babies, though this time they featured cute swimming suits to play at the splash pad! Lawn games, good chats and sharing together was a great reminder how many great people we have close.

Five

So, have you heard of Zombies Run? It’s an award winning app that has an incredible story line and incredible voice actors. As you run you get to hear parts of the story, where you’re a key part! You collect items to help the township continue to survive the Zombie outbreak. It’s actually quite entertaining, and a huge motivator to get out there running, jogging or walking, but boy can it be creepy. The sounds of zombies in your ears means you have to run faster or they’ll catch you, and if you manage to hold them off you’ll evade them. I was so motivated I went on two runs on the same day! When you’re having a rough month when it comes to motivation you have to use it up as soon as you get it!

Six

Camping. We thought we’d give it another try. Happy we did, because now we really know we don’t enjoy it 🙂 We had an amazing time hanging out with my closest girls and their husbands, but we had another guest… mosquitos. Hundreds of them. And I’m not exaggerating because Azra had like over 80 bites so… The beach times were great, and talking and sharing with them was wonderful, it always is, no matter where we are. Though sadly, this time we were outside haha. It’s actually quite shocking that we dislike camping that much, so we got right down to it and realized it’s not the sleeping in tents, that part is so nice, and it’s not the fact you have to cook things over a fire, it forces you to slow down which is a great thing to be forced to do. It’s the damn bugs! Who knows… Maybe a fall time camping experience is still in the books and who knows, we may love it! I have my doubts though… The best part of the trip was celebrating some wonderful news we got from our friends, so if there was something to highlight from that trip it was how happy we all were!

Seven

When Sofia, my niece, was a few days old we spent the night with her. (This is also why we pushed off having kids… hahah) but in all seriousness, looking at that tiny human being, it would have been impossible to realize how much more you could love her. As she has gotten older and talks about everything and anything we’ve been able to get to know the special little girl we love so much. Stealing her away to go for ice cream was a nice treat but it also made me think about all the future moments I can’t even imagine that we’ll get to share together. What a joy it is to be an aunt.

Eight

We had a wonderful day visiting Grandma Carmen. Christian’s grandma has Alzheimer’s, the same disease that eventually took the life of my paternal grandmother. I never got to be with my grandma during her illness as she lived in Colombia and soon grew nervous and scared when video skyping with people as she couldn’t recognize us or understand how we were inside a little metal box. I’m grateful for the memories I made with Grandma Carmen. I know how funny she was and she still manages to be! We loved hugging her and getting her to dance and clap along with her childhood tunes. So much love for this old lady.

Nine

This is supposed to be a ‘best memories’ recap. And I will say, this month it was hard to see anything as the best of anything. Days blurred together. My motivation hit the lowest of lows. I struggled with feelings of worthlessness, failure and an overwhelming cloud of sadness. With how much I have learned and read about these things I thought I could fight it off, I thought it would be like a bad cold. I’d be down for a few days and then bounce back up after some long naps. But those naps became all I wanted to do. It’s been an incredibly challenging mental month. I’ve got a road of work ahead of me, I know it. It’s not going to be easy, and right now, everything seems very dark. I felt like I needed to write this blurb to keep this as a part of my history for the month. The goal of these recaps is to be able to have them to look back on and remind myself of how many wonderful moments I was able to experience. Although this is a hard moment, it’s something I hope future me can look back on and feel like a whole new person.

In July I was grateful for…

  • Having a long weekend to celebrate our anniversary, every year haha.
  • Dressing up our room to make it feel very relaxed and calm.
  • Apples and cinnamon. All day every day.
  • Meeting with a nutritionist to figure out why I get bloated so often.
  • Seeing my body get toned.
  • Softball. A work in progress.
  • Being surprised with another day off and going on two runs that same day.
  • Starting with a personal trainer to help push me beyond my comfort level.
  • Although I struggled a lot with my mental health this month, many friends and family were there to support me, I’m grateful for them and the impact they have in my life.
  • Packing up for vacation with friends.
  • Friends who are fun and silly and love having a good time.
  • Bug Spray.
  • Sweaters.
  • Costco food shopping.
  • Grateful kike got to go visit Daniel and Michelle in BC.
  • Making crafty things to help keep my motivation up.
  • Christian for his endless support and his help during a very hard month mentally.
  • Having the fitbit to keep me accountable and competitive even on days I didn’t want to move.
  • Sofia being adorable and old enough to take out to ice cream dates.
  • Visiting Christian’s grandma and seeing her light up at the sounds of her childhood music.
  • Pool day at a friend’s house and fun times with board game people.
  • Wearing a headband and not hating it.
  • Finding a positive way to look at my constant failures at hitting the ball with a bat.
  • Spikes in motivation that help pull me from moments of inexplicable sadness and defeat.
  • Congo being super photogenic.
  • Homecooked meals.
  • Beautiful views as we drive home and to work.
  • Surviving an Insanity workout.
  • Mango and Ice.

Look out for another Best Nine next month to hear all about August!

Mariangelica

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I’ve been struggling with something lately that has kept me from my regular routine. I’ve been thinking about ignoring it and posting about healthy recipes and how to be motivated to workout but honestly, right now, I’d feel like a hypocrite if I did any of those things. I think it’s easy to think I have it all figured out. I rarely do let my walls down as I believe in positivity and sharing all that is good and bright with the world. The dark things, well I keep those to myself, as I do not think they will benefit anyone or make anyone’s day better, and really that’s part of the reason I share so much of me. I want to help, I want others to be well, I want to make you think about something mundane in a new light. It’s something that fills my heart.

When I struggle, and I fall, and I have trouble following my own advice I just go silent. I stop posting for a few days and barely look at social media. And it happens. I often go through waves and I’m working constantly on balance. I like to try things. Everyone knows that one thing about me. They may also know I tend to try hard, and intensely and sometimes I wear myself out in the midst of it all. I need a break I retreat from everything and cocoon myself until I feel recharged and ready to go again. It’s something I’ve done most of my adult life and it has got to stop.

I love how lost I get in the excitement of something new. I love how much of myself I give to people and situations and things I’m interested in. I love all of it. I don’t love the moments I feel down, depressed, crippled with an inability to get up and do anything productive. When focusing on simple tasks at work seem like they will use up all of my remaining gasps of energy and when the idea of making food is so tiring I’d rather sleep for hours on end. Therefore, change has to happen. I write this, still unsure if I will publish it but I’m a writer, and this is how I heal, this is my therapy, this is how I make sense of things and see them for the first time very clearly. It’s like speaking with myself in an uncluttered environment because the page is blank when I start speaking and you can only write one word at a time. The countless things in my mind have to get in line and only one thought can come out at a time. A peaceful reflexion when the haze of everything threatens to take over. I love writing.

Unable to write anything else, I think this will do. I’ve sat down to blog about countless other things this last month, but nothing would come. Sitting here minutes after pouring this out I am sure this is what I needed to do in order to break the wall of my creativity and motivation.

I am doing well and I have an amazing support system in my family and friends. I hope if you’ve been struggling with motivation, getting started on your plans or projects, or simply struggling with getting through the day and still smiling, then know it happens to all of us. We’re always switching from one end of the spectrum to the other. Sometimes you’re up while other times you’re down. No matter the reason, know you’re not alone. And sometimes this cloud leaves as quickly as it came while other times some work has to be done in order to keep it moving right along.

Yay to breaking the wall. Up next, a recap of all the great things June brought with it.

Much love always,

Mariangelica

Photo by Dean Johns on Unsplash

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Throughout my life, I have tried many things. Therefore it goes without saying that I have failed at many things too. I have been very lucky, in that I have an incredible support group. My parents and siblings have always believed in me. Often more than I believed in myself. I was lucky enough to marry one heck of a supportive husband who let me try new things even when he didn’t understand them. I’ve had supportive people in my life from a young age, but even so, there have been times that I’ve had to deal with unsupportive behaviour from others around me. It made me think about those of you reading, and if perhaps you fall into any one of these ‘maybe’s’. I wanted to share what I’ve observed over the years, and how I push through, no matter who isn’t cheering for me.

Maybe you have that one family member who makes jokes about what you do. That business you want to start, the fitness routine you are on or the healthy eating lifestyle you are committing to. They poke fun at it or make sarcastic comments here and there. All in all, they make you feel shitty about whatever it is you have set your mind to do.

DO NOT. I repeat, do not let them get to you. I’ve had this happen to me, and what I can say is that it’s hard at first. You want to defend everything you’re doing, you want to show them all the facts about why this is a good idea, you want them to be on your side. Because, you know, they’re family. Aren’t they all supposed to support you? Truth is, no, not all of them will. In my case, it was one, in your case, it might be many who stand against you. No matter what, fighting back is exactly what this person wants. They may secretly want to see you fail so that they can feel better about never giving it a shot themselves.

“Look, I knew she wasn’t going to finish that workout program, that’s why I didn’t start, I knew it wouldn’t work” Do you see how sad this person’s life must be, that THIS is the monolog in their heads?

Nowadays I choose to focus on the support and love I receive from the rest of my family. And it’s a big family! Because they are louder. It just depends on who you choose to listen to! If you do fail, because we all know failure goes hand in hand with trying new things, they’ll be the ones saying “I know you’ll succeed next time, I believe in you,” rather than “I told you so.” They are the people that matter, they are your support group. Don’t let their voices be drowned out by the negativity of one sad human being.

Maybe you have that close group of girlfriends, and in your mind, they should be your biggest supporters! They know all your secrets, they know what you’re like at your best and worst times. Why then, when you tell them you’re starting a home business do they refrain from cheering you on, or even supporting your business if they’re in the market for something you offer/carry.

Home Businesses have grown dramatically over the last few years. It seems like everyone you know is making or selling something now, and guess what, this isn’t a bad thing at all. There are these large movements to support local shops, to stay away from big box stores and support those mom and pop shops because we’ll be helping our local community’s economy. Well, guess what, your friend’s business is just that. It’s a place where your dollars go towards their little girl’s ballet class fees or their next family vacation.

It still shocks me when I tell someone about how amazing I think (blank) is because of what it’s done in my own life and have them blow me off when they hear they can get it through me. But then turn around and buy it from Walmart or Amazon. (WHAT?) When one of your closest friends does this, I’ll admit it, it hurts. If you take it personally it can seem like a clear statement that they don’t believe in what you do. That they don’t support you as much as you originally thought, and that at the end of the day, they don’t want to see you win.

Don’t let this negative train of thought ruin the plans you have for your business or service this month. Don’t waste your precious energy on trying to figure out WHY they did it, just take it as a learning moment. Were they clearly aware they could have bought this product from you? Did they just see it at the store and were reminded of your recommendation and picked it up without any malice in their actions?

You see, it isn’t all about you. It’s about the end result. If your friend is now eating healthier because of something you recommended, or they are getting a better night’s sleep because of an essential oil mixture you endorsed, just be happy for them. Yes, it hurts sometimes. But when we focus on why we do what we do, all of this negativity goes away. When you focus on helping people and making their lives better, no matter what goods or services you provide, you will feel more fulfilled with all you accomplish.

You can’t control what other people do, but you can control how you react to it. And this is by far the best way to let icky moments pass and prepare yourself for all the goodness that is to come!

Here are some tips to help you stay motivated no matter what unsupportive behaviour comes your way:

I wrote a post about dealing with unsupportive people in general. In it I break down many of the reasons people choose to be unsupportive. I wrote it after receiving some messages from women in my wellness online group about their family or friends playing these unsupportive roles in their lives. If you liked this post you may find some more insight in this ither one too. Check it here: Dealing with unsupportive people.

Remind yourself of your Why.

Why are you doing what you’re doing? Focus on that and only that. With a strong enough why you can achieve anything no matter what life throws your way.

Write down your goals and don’t let anything or anyone sidetrack you.

Push that negative family member’s comment aside. Brush off the fact that your friends don’t support your business and keep going. A goal that is not written down is just a dream. Read up on how to make the most out of your month and crush those goals!

Read personal development.

I recommend Personal Development often.. Show me a person that is not succeeding and I will show you a person that isn’t reading personal development.

Connect with others doing what you’re doing.

Find other entrepreneurs, bakers, business women. Whatever your field, there is a group out there waiting to be found. If you really can’t find one, then make one, you may be what other’s have been waiting for.

Believe in yourself.

Because at the end of the day, this whole thing depends on you and how much you care about it. Believe, be positive, be efficient with your time, work hard, and work from a good place in your heart. The rest will come as it must. I wrote this post about moving on from failure. It may help you learn to believe in yourself again.

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