Throughout my life, I have tried many things. Therefore it goes without saying that I have failed at many things too. I have been very lucky, in that I have an incredible support group. My parents and siblings have always believed in me. Often more than I believed in myself. I was lucky enough to marry one heck of a supportive husband who let me try new things even when he didn’t understand them. I’ve had supportive people in my life from a young age, but even so, there have been times that I’ve had to deal with unsupportive behaviour from others around me. It made me think about those of you reading, and if perhaps you fall into any one of these ‘maybe’s’. I wanted to share what I’ve observed over the years, and how I push through, no matter who isn’t cheering for me.
Maybe you have that one family member who makes jokes about what you do. That business you want to start, the fitness routine you are on or the healthy eating lifestyle you are committing to. They poke fun at it or make sarcastic comments here and there. All in all, they make you feel shitty about whatever it is you have set your mind to do.
DO NOT. I repeat, do not let them get to you. I’ve had this happen to me, and what I can say is that it’s hard at first. You want to defend everything you’re doing, you want to show them all the facts about why this is a good idea, you want them to be on your side. Because, you know, they’re family. Aren’t they all supposed to support you? Truth is, no, not all of them will. In my case, it was one, in your case, it might be many who stand against you. No matter what, fighting back is exactly what this person wants. They may secretly want to see you fail so that they can feel better about never giving it a shot themselves.
“Look, I knew she wasn’t going to finish that workout program, that’s why I didn’t start, I knew it wouldn’t work” Do you see how sad this person’s life must be, that THIS is the monolog in their heads?
Nowadays I choose to focus on the support and love I receive from the rest of my family. And it’s a big family! Because they are louder. It just depends on who you choose to listen to! If you do fail, because we all know failure goes hand in hand with trying new things, they’ll be the ones saying “I know you’ll succeed next time, I believe in you,” rather than “I told you so.” They are the people that matter, they are your support group. Don’t let their voices be drowned out by the negativity of one sad human being.
Maybe you have that close group of girlfriends, and in your mind, they should be your biggest supporters! They know all your secrets, they know what you’re like at your best and worst times. Why then, when you tell them you’re starting a home business do they refrain from cheering you on, or even supporting your business if they’re in the market for something you offer/carry.
Home Businesses have grown dramatically over the last few years. It seems like everyone you know is making or selling something now, and guess what, this isn’t a bad thing at all. There are these large movements to support local shops, to stay away from big box stores and support those mom and pop shops because we’ll be helping our local community’s economy. Well, guess what, your friend’s business is just that. It’s a place where your dollars go towards their little girl’s ballet class fees or their next family vacation.
It still shocks me when I tell someone about how amazing I think (blank) is because of what it’s done in my own life and have them blow me off when they hear they can get it through me. But then turn around and buy it from Walmart or Amazon. (WHAT?) When one of your closest friends does this, I’ll admit it, it hurts. If you take it personally it can seem like a clear statement that they don’t believe in what you do. That they don’t support you as much as you originally thought, and that at the end of the day, they don’t want to see you win.
Don’t let this negative train of thought ruin the plans you have for your business or service this month. Don’t waste your precious energy on trying to figure out WHY they did it, just take it as a learning moment. Were they clearly aware they could have bought this product from you? Did they just see it at the store and were reminded of your recommendation and picked it up without any malice in their actions?
You see, it isn’t all about you. It’s about the end result. If your friend is now eating healthier because of something you recommended, or they are getting a better night’s sleep because of an essential oil mixture you endorsed, just be happy for them. Yes, it hurts sometimes. But when we focus on why we do what we do, all of this negativity goes away. When you focus on helping people and making their lives better, no matter what goods or services you provide, you will feel more fulfilled with all you accomplish.
You can’t control what other people do, but you can control how you react to it. And this is by far the best way to let icky moments pass and prepare yourself for all the goodness that is to come!
Here are some tips to help you stay motivated no matter what unsupportive behaviour comes your way:
I wrote a post about dealing with unsupportive people in general. In it I break down many of the reasons people choose to be unsupportive. I wrote it after receiving some messages from women in my wellness online group about their family or friends playing these unsupportive roles in their lives. If you liked this post you may find some more insight in this ither one too. Check it here: Dealing with unsupportive people.
Remind yourself of your Why.
Why are you doing what you’re doing? Focus on that and only that. With a strong enough why you can achieve anything no matter what life throws your way.
Write down your goals and don’t let anything or anyone sidetrack you.
Push that negative family member’s comment aside. Brush off the fact that your friends don’t support your business and keep going. A goal that is not written down is just a dream. Read up on how to make the most out of your month and crush those goals!
Read personal development.
I recommend Personal Development often.. Show me a person that is not succeeding and I will show you a person that isn’t reading personal development.
Connect with others doing what you’re doing.
Find other entrepreneurs, bakers, business women. Whatever your field, there is a group out there waiting to be found. If you really can’t find one, then make one, you may be what other’s have been waiting for.
Believe in yourself.
Because at the end of the day, this whole thing depends on you and how much you care about it. Believe, be positive, be efficient with your time, work hard, and work from a good place in your heart. The rest will come as it must. I wrote this post about moving on from failure. It may help you learn to believe in yourself again.