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Throughout my life, I have tried many things. Therefore it goes without saying that I have failed at many things too. I have been very lucky, in that I have an incredible support group. My parents and siblings have always believed in me. Often more than I believed in myself. I was lucky enough to marry one heck of a supportive husband who let me try new things even when he didn’t understand them. I’ve had supportive people in my life from a young age, but even so, there have been times that I’ve had to deal with unsupportive behaviour from others around me. It made me think about those of you reading, and if perhaps you fall into any one of these ‘maybe’s’. I wanted to share what I’ve observed over the years, and how I push through, no matter who isn’t cheering for me.

Maybe you have that one family member who makes jokes about what you do. That business you want to start, the fitness routine you are on or the healthy eating lifestyle you are committing to. They poke fun at it or make sarcastic comments here and there. All in all, they make you feel shitty about whatever it is you have set your mind to do.

DO NOT. I repeat, do not let them get to you. I’ve had this happen to me, and what I can say is that it’s hard at first. You want to defend everything you’re doing, you want to show them all the facts about why this is a good idea, you want them to be on your side. Because, you know, they’re family. Aren’t they all supposed to support you? Truth is, no, not all of them will. In my case, it was one, in your case, it might be many who stand against you. No matter what, fighting back is exactly what this person wants. They may secretly want to see you fail so that they can feel better about never giving it a shot themselves.

“Look, I knew she wasn’t going to finish that workout program, that’s why I didn’t start, I knew it wouldn’t work” Do you see how sad this person’s life must be, that THIS is the monolog in their heads?

Nowadays I choose to focus on the support and love I receive from the rest of my family. And it’s a big family! Because they are louder. It just depends on who you choose to listen to! If you do fail, because we all know failure goes hand in hand with trying new things, they’ll be the ones saying “I know you’ll succeed next time, I believe in you,” rather than “I told you so.” They are the people that matter, they are your support group. Don’t let their voices be drowned out by the negativity of one sad human being.

Maybe you have that close group of girlfriends, and in your mind, they should be your biggest supporters! They know all your secrets, they know what you’re like at your best and worst times. Why then, when you tell them you’re starting a home business do they refrain from cheering you on, or even supporting your business if they’re in the market for something you offer/carry.

Home Businesses have grown dramatically over the last few years. It seems like everyone you know is making or selling something now, and guess what, this isn’t a bad thing at all. There are these large movements to support local shops, to stay away from big box stores and support those mom and pop shops because we’ll be helping our local community’s economy. Well, guess what, your friend’s business is just that. It’s a place where your dollars go towards their little girl’s ballet class fees or their next family vacation.

It still shocks me when I tell someone about how amazing I think (blank) is because of what it’s done in my own life and have them blow me off when they hear they can get it through me. But then turn around and buy it from Walmart or Amazon. (WHAT?) When one of your closest friends does this, I’ll admit it, it hurts. If you take it personally it can seem like a clear statement that they don’t believe in what you do. That they don’t support you as much as you originally thought, and that at the end of the day, they don’t want to see you win.

Don’t let this negative train of thought ruin the plans you have for your business or service this month. Don’t waste your precious energy on trying to figure out WHY they did it, just take it as a learning moment. Were they clearly aware they could have bought this product from you? Did they just see it at the store and were reminded of your recommendation and picked it up without any malice in their actions?

You see, it isn’t all about you. It’s about the end result. If your friend is now eating healthier because of something you recommended, or they are getting a better night’s sleep because of an essential oil mixture you endorsed, just be happy for them. Yes, it hurts sometimes. But when we focus on why we do what we do, all of this negativity goes away. When you focus on helping people and making their lives better, no matter what goods or services you provide, you will feel more fulfilled with all you accomplish.

You can’t control what other people do, but you can control how you react to it. And this is by far the best way to let icky moments pass and prepare yourself for all the goodness that is to come!

Here are some tips to help you stay motivated no matter what unsupportive behaviour comes your way:

I wrote a post about dealing with unsupportive people in general. In it I break down many of the reasons people choose to be unsupportive. I wrote it after receiving some messages from women in my wellness online group about their family or friends playing these unsupportive roles in their lives. If you liked this post you may find some more insight in this ither one too. Check it here: Dealing with unsupportive people.

Remind yourself of your Why.

Why are you doing what you’re doing? Focus on that and only that. With a strong enough why you can achieve anything no matter what life throws your way.

Write down your goals and don’t let anything or anyone sidetrack you.

Push that negative family member’s comment aside. Brush off the fact that your friends don’t support your business and keep going. A goal that is not written down is just a dream. Read up on how to make the most out of your month and crush those goals!

Read personal development.

I recommend Personal Development often.. Show me a person that is not succeeding and I will show you a person that isn’t reading personal development.

Connect with others doing what you’re doing.

Find other entrepreneurs, bakers, business women. Whatever your field, there is a group out there waiting to be found. If you really can’t find one, then make one, you may be what other’s have been waiting for.

Believe in yourself.

Because at the end of the day, this whole thing depends on you and how much you care about it. Believe, be positive, be efficient with your time, work hard, and work from a good place in your heart. The rest will come as it must. I wrote this post about moving on from failure. It may help you learn to believe in yourself again.

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I turned 27, and no, I am still not an expert at life (is anyone, really?) but I have learned a few life lessons that I wasn’t entirely aware of in my teen years that I wish I had known. I wanted to share them, in case any of these resonated with some of your own life lessons. Let me know in the comments what’s one thing you’ve learned in your life that you didn’t grasp when you were a teenager?

Let me know in the comments what’s one thing you’ve learned in your life that you didn’t grasp when you were a teenager?

1. Energy is real, and it’s important.

The energy we surround ourselves with every day is something to take note on. The energy we put out into the world with our thoughts will come to us. So be positive and surround yourself with positive, good, cleansing and healing energy and remove yourself from situations where you feel your energy being sucked out.

2. Take a compliment.

Being self conscious, having body image issues, feeling less then, or being insecure all lead to very many different ways of taking a compliment. Do you compliment back, do you believe they are just telling you that because they feel like they need to. Do you look down in the dumps and that’s why they said something nice to you? The amount of damaging thoughts we have sometimes it’s unreal. Just say “Thank you”.

3. Enjoy the time with your loved ones.

People go unexpectedly. They’re here today and gone tomorrow. There’s things I wanted to say, wish I would have said and long for just one more hug and smile from them. I know they’re in the most incredible spirit realm. I know and trust they are happy and calm and with all the goodness that are other pure souls, but if it’s taught me anything it’s to cherish those souls when they are around me in this plane. To hug and cherish every good time, and love deeply.

4. Green veggies are for all.

It doesn’t seem like that long ago that I lived off of morning sugary cereals with hormone filled cow milk, lunched on white bread (sugar) with a cold cut meat and some cheese and dined on the only proper meal of my day which was my mom’s home cooked dinners of usually steak, potatoes and rice, avoiding salads at all costs. My life has done a complete backflip, or would this be considered a front flip… I have educated myself and continue to do so (because really there’s just so much to learn) on the importance of food, the importance of real ingredients and the importance of eating locally grown produce. I’ve stopped eating land and air animals and my health has become of clear importance in my life.

5. Love fully and deeply.

There was once a quote I read that said something like “The one that loves less has more power in a relationship.” When I was young and was just getting over the biggest heart break of my teenage years I believed these words. I thought they made perfect sense. If I love less I’ll be protected, if I love less, I can’t be hurt.

But this, young me, was foolish and wrong and thankfully, you understood what true, real, and passionate love was all about and power was never a part of that homemade description. I have learned of love in these 27 years, and I will continue to learn from it when new milestones occur, and when there are little ones to love, but for now I am grateful for the lessons of love I have had so far, for I love fully, and deeply and with no holding back because there is no fear of ever being hurt.

6. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.

You have to believe it, because at the end of the day, no one else belief matters quite like yours. So trust yourself. This one took a while to learn.

7. Try something before you say you don’t like it.

This was not true of me in the past when it came to food that’s for sure, but when it comes to life, heck yes. I’m a trier. I try a bit of everything, and sometimes I get really passionate about something new and give it my all. Sometimes I burn out and lose focus, and other times I don’t. This is how you learn more about yourself, about what you’re like and about what you can do! Try everything! Say yes to the opportunity. Figure it out along the way!

8. Done is better than perfect.

Accomplishing something is better than quitting because you don’t feel like it will turn out quite how you want it to. I’ve been guilty of this so so so many times in the past. Why write that novel if I don’t think I’m very good? Why be a coach when I don’t have a facebook fan page. It doesn’t matter, you do it because you had told yourself you were going to, and breaking a promise to yourself just tells the universe you are not that important.

9. It’s all in the process.

The destination is pretty freaking cool. But the journey you take to getting there is where the story lies, it’s where the meat of the lesson is in.

10. Do the work.

You want to be something, do something, achieve something? Do the work, make hard decisions, wake up every day with full commitment and intention.

11. Knowing WHY is the most important piece of knowledge.

It doesn’t matter how you are going to do something or when, doesn’t even matter what you are going to do if you don’t know why you are doing it. When your why is strong you will not fail, you will not quit and you will give it your all.

12. I have a lot more to give of myself, and to be.

I am young, although my mind fights me on that one and whispers how close 3-0 truly is. Truthfully, I am excited for what is to come and how my role as a woman will change over the next few years. I am in love with the idea that I will become someone else, a new version of me when I become a mother and am looking forward to all that I will gain from it.

13. Focus on what you can control, and only that.

I’m a planner, and plans are always written down, on paper, in ink. Not erasable, and crystal clear. Life though doesn’t always get the memo, and sad things happen that surprise you by morphing into wonderful lessons on patience and strength.

14. Lighten up, and don’t take yourself so seriously.

It’s ok to be silly, it’s ok to joke around and have a funny conversation just because and not because it’s tied to a specific goal. Breathe, live and enjoy.

15. Every person has a story.

It’s complicated and raw, it has hardships and it has beauty. It seems easy to some, and impossible to others. But they are all real and they are all special and they all have meaning.

16. The world will only change when you do.

Complaining and sharing depressing news about the state of the world on social media won’t get us anywhere. If there’s something you want changed, you want people to be kinder, more giving, more self less, more trustworthy, then you have to start with yourself. Change yourself and you can change the world.

17. Finances are something to get educated about.

How I wish finances were a topic in high-school, in middle school even, and it should be mandatory for every college student to take a course in. For someone who has a slight anxiety issue when it comes to money, the only way I was able to have peace of mind was when we got our finances in order. There is endless information on the internet but for the most part this statement rings true: “Don’t spend what you don’t have, and give every dollar a job.”

18. Vacation and let loose.

Take time for yourself and your relationship. Disconnect and unwind. Do nothing for 3 days and lounge in your PJs, no matter the style of vacationing you prefer. Make the time, give it importance because these are moments our soul needs to reset.

19. Smiles are powerful.

A stranger on the street, someone passing you on the hallway. Smiling makes people’s lives better. They can save lives, they can make invisible people seen. They have power we do not understand.

20. Learn more life lessons

Be a sponge, learn from everyone, gather inspiration from the world. Teach yourself about life.

21. Gratefulness is key in attracting good things in life.

The law of attraction, have you heard of it? Well did you know it works just as well if we complain and think negative thoughts? We’ll just have more of that, which nobody wants. Instead we need to focus on being grateful for all we have, every day, every moment. When we practice this every day we will see the things we are grateful for will multiply!

22 People deserve a second chance.

People have wronged me, they’ve been cruel, and horrible. They could be family, they could be friends, either way. Bless and release. If they care enough to try again, to rekindle what was there, and you feel safe in doing so, people deserve another chance. You may be surprised with who they’ve become!

23. I will never escape stress.

Stress is felt by everyone in many different ways, and accepting that it’s something that will morph and grow with me is something I have learned to understand. Management of stress and understanding how it manifests are all topics to learn more about and knowing that just because you don’t ‘feel’ stressed doesn’t mean you aren’t. Sometimes it is reflected in a weak body part or muscle.

24. Your passion is everything.

Find what you are passionate about and when you find a way to do that every day, the amount of happiness and joy it will bring into your life will be incredible and noticed by all.

25. Minimalism is the key to many issues.

Buy less things, accumulate less things, spend money on experiences. Collect memories. Live freely.

26. Family is more than blood.

Sometimes you find family along the way.

27. I am enough.

I need only be who I want to be. There is just one person who can be me, and it’s me. I am intelligent, honest and caring. I am my friend, and I am enough.

27 Life lessons. In 27 years. If I live to be 100, I’ll have learned 73 more. Ooof, long way to go! So much to experience, so much to learn.

Much love,

Mariangelica

 

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make the most out of january

January is the beginning of many things. For one, the year itself, but on another note, it’s the beginning of this ‘New You’. You’ve thought up your resolutions, you’re ready to start eating healthy and workout, and then, before you know it you’ve fallen off the bandwagon, again. Here are some tips on how to make the most of January and start the New Year off in the best way possible:

1. Take a big goal and break it up.

Sometimes, big resolutions can seem overwhelming or like you don’t know where to start. Think, how can I push forward on this goal this month? What about next month? Set smaller goals for each month to ensure you stay on track all year!

Recap your successes from last year!

Take note of all the things you are most proud of from last year. When making resolutions for the new year, we tend to focus on things we want to change. There’s something to be said for bringing in more positivity and taking the time to feel great for all the things you accomplished and improved last year!

2. Set a focus word for the year.

This is a trending idea that works on the idea that instead of making hard set resolutions, you come up with your FOCUS WORD of the year. I’ve been thinking for a few weeks now on what I wanted my word to be. Where I wanted to put my focus and set my intention and I’ve been pulled towards the word Kindness. Twoards others and towards myself. I want to wake up every day and ask myself,  “how can I be kinder today?”. It’s hard to track a goal like “Be kinder”, or “Don’t get upset so quickly”, but setting my focus of the year on kindness will allow me to be mindful of what I do that day and how I can work on being kinder every day.

3. Finish what needs finishing.

Do you have some projects left behind from last year that you can check off quickly? If so, do it as soon as you can. Dragging around projects we need to finish makes us heavy and weighs down our creativity and spontaneity. Don’t get trapped in last year’s to-do list, get out of it quickly so you can tackle our new goals for the year!

4. Put yourself first.

This January, focus on your health, on your body, on your mind and on your sanity. You’re being pulled in many directions at the start of the year. Work has new goals for the year, your children have birthdays coming up and you said you’d volunteer at the next bake sale. Whatever it is you’ve got on your plate already, take the time to take care of you. Your future calmer you will thank you for it.

5. Figure out your WHY.

Why are you doing this? Why will you not do this? Why are you working towards this goal? Why that other goal? It’s easy to get in the mindset of picking a goal and figuring out how you’ll achieve it, but if I learned one thing from last year it is that knowing WHY you are doing something is a much more powerful motivator than simply knowing how you’ll do it.

If you have any other tips, send them my way.

I hope these will help in making sure you get all you can out of the first month of the year to start the new year off in the best way possible.

Love,

Mariangelica

 

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