So, I have a baby…

A photo of a baby with a stuffed bear next to him.

I gave birth, and what a magical experience it was. I loved it, I can’t wait to do it again. I love how in control I was. I love how I handled all those hours of surges. I love how supportive Christian was the entire time. I love that my mom was there to witness it. I love that Eli came into this world healthy, and well, and perfect. 

Having a baby has changed me completely. In every way imaginable, and all for the positive. I have become more sure of who I am, more grounded, and more willing to say no to things in my life that drain me because it will ultimately affect him in some way. 

I love him, my baby. More than life itself, more than any word in this language or others could let me describe. I am tethered, we are one. I cannot exists without him. He is incredible. I have loved him since the first time. Because it was always him. He tried to join us a couple times and finally, everything was perfectly aligned for him to make his entrance. 

We are parents. We have a son. So many words that have so much meaning now. It’s been an incredible 5 months with him on the outside. I love what my life has morphed into, who I am morphing into. Not much else to say on the matter. This is love in its rawest form.