the second trimester

A collection of passages from various journal entries during the second trimester.

3 months

  • “Sometimes the fear still creeps in. I sill see myself having to tell everyone we lost the baby, but then I push those thoughts away.”
  • “Yesterday was good, I was able to eat a few things, and cooking has been happening a little more at home. I started to get anxious and worried in the evening when I continued to feel good. I tried to push the thoughts away but it was hard work. We went to the midwife appointment and heard it, for the first time. The baby’s little heart beat. Strong and fast. It was unreal. We were quiet, we just listened, I didn’t want it to end.”

 

4 months

  • “Honestly I don’t know how we got here, but then I do, one day at a time. There is an avocado sized baby inside me, it blows my mind. No one can tell because all the vomiting has kept my stomach flatter than ever before. But we heard the heartbeat, they are really in there!”
  • “I turn 28 soon. It feels crazy to me because I’ve generally disliked my birthdays and the idea of getting a year older, but being so close to 30 I figured i’d be having some mental breakdown haha. Suddenly though, my view has changed. I’ve been able to enjoy all these years in my 20s to the max. I have moved ahead in my career and have spent so much quality time with my husband. We’ve enjoyed all these years of it being just us and Congo and it has been amazing. We’ve done crazy things and seen the world. None of this has to change of course, and heck, there’s still TWO long full years ahead in my 20s, but my 30s now look so exciting.”
  • “I am full of gratefulness for all of the wonderful things in my life. I am grateful to be pregnant in this moment, for not wanting for anything but the healthy baby boy or girl to come join us in this life. I am overjoyed in happiness daily. I thank God, above all.”
  • “I am grateful for this moment in our lives, for the life growing inside me.”
  • “I am hopeful that those that continue to hope and pray for a child will be blessed with one.”
  • “Fear will not allow me to do what I know I am able to do, so I refuse it and prohibit it from coming anywhere near my pregnancy and birth.”

 

5 months

  • “I am starting to fall in love with this tiny belly of mine. It’s taking a little bit of shape, but overall it’s small and still most people at work don’t know. But it’s the way my body is shaped, it’s the way it’s growing this little baby and honestly as long as they are healthy there is no need to worry about whether my belly is round or flat at this moment.”
  • “I think I felt the baby move, but I can’t be sure, it’s not like I know what that would feel like… I had just eaten so I wasn’t sure if it had just been my stomach processing food but it felt like a rolling motion. We’ll have to wait and see!”
  • “We started setting up the nursery! Moved the home office to a different room and things are taking shape!”

 

6 months

  • “This little guy has been so active lately! The feeling is surreal and amazing. Feeling him move catches me by surprise and instantly makes me smile.”
  • “I have been feeling so good now! I’m still in my regular jeans and regular clothes, but I can see the roundness will be coming soon!”
  • “I haven’t thrown up in a few days so that’s been incredible. I haven’t had the energy to work out throughout this pregnancy, mostly the vomiting and lack of food has kept me from it, but I can see I have the energy now, so I’m excited to make that happen in the near future.”
  • “Finally picked up all the big items we needed, like a stroller, crib, car seat etc and we’re waiting for them to be delivered. It’s feeling so real!”

 

“My darling baby boy, we lost your brother or sister one month before you showed up. Reading back the entries of my journal I realize how fragile you are, and have been this whole time. You too were the size of an orange seed once… and it’s wild to think you’re as big as a bunch of kale now. You’re huge little one! Your kicks made my tummy move last night for the first time and I sat there, staring at the little bumps you made in awe of your strength. You are amazing, strong and so incredibly loved. The entries of my journal count back all the days with you, and I smile at the relief and celebration of making it another day together. Look how far we’ve come my love, one day at a time has led us here, to week 27, the last week of this wild and incredible second trimester. 91 days to go, already on the double digits and I’m ready to meet you. Yes, our lives will change more than we know but I’m ready for it all.

Love you always,

Mom.”


Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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Dear Diary

Writing Prompt: The ever changing way a person views his/ her parents as he/she ages.


  1. Dear Diary,
    Mom and Dad said I can’t get a dog because they think I’m not old enough to take care of it. I’m so mad I just want to break something. They’re dumb and they just don’t want me to be happy! I’ll keep trying, they will have to give in eventually.

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    There’s a pre-highschool party! Mike is going and I really like him, I want him to notice me and not Amanda, but if I don’t go I’ll start the school year as the loser that didn’t go to the party. Mom and Dad don’t understand how CRUCIAL it is for me to attend. They weren’t going to let me go so i lied and told them Matt’s parents were going to supervise. I hope he kisses me, Mom and Dad suck, I wish I had cooler parents.

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    It’s exam time and I can officially say college sucks. I miss home. I miss watching home makeover shows with Dad. I miss Mom’s home cooked dinner. All this mac and cheese in the microwave is not doing great things to my shape. How could I ever think high school was hard.

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    My first day at my adult job. I love the freedom! Leaving my hometown was hard and Mom cried a lot. I’m excited to be four hours away though, far enough my parents can’t surprise visit me which makes bringing guys home less stressful. I’ll call them here and there. Dad made me promise to keep my rape whistle with me, he’s nuts.

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    The honeymoon was amazing, can’t believe that was so long ago. Maybe I’m getting nostalgic now that Sally is born. Mom was with me the whole time and Dad kept Mike from fainting. I loved having them there. They’re going to make the greatest grandparents.

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    Sally keeps asking to visit grandma and grandpa but four hours is too far to go on a weekday and there’s just so many events on the weekends. Life is so so busy right now I don’t even know when I will get to sleep. Mom and Dad call her often, but i know it’s not enough I just don’t have any time!

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    Dad got diagnosed with cancer, it seems to be terminal and I just… feel numb. Telling Sally was really difficult. We went to visit them this weekend and I just tried to keep it together. Mom’s super positive though, seems like nothing can dim her light. I took many pictures of them, it’s just hitting me how old they’ve become.

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    Mom moved in with us yesterday. The idea of having her living on her own so far away in an empty house was keeping me up at night. Mike and i knew it was what was best but we didn’t anticipate the emotional process leaving that house would be for her and for me. Everything there reminds me of dad and I can barely keep it together at work. I wish I had called him more, I wish I had listened to more of his stories. Why didn’t I videotape him more often? Sally’s not taking it well, she starts her first day of college tomorrow and I am trying to give her some strength but it’s hard.

 

  1. Dear Diary,
    Mom I wish you hadn’t left us. I miss it all. I wish I was 7 again and that you’d tell me I wasn’t responsible for a dog yet. You were right, I wasn’t. I miss watching you and dad dance in the kitchen. I’m sorry I made gagging sounds, I was an idiot, and you two were in love. My chest is tight and I constantly feel like i’m going to fall apart into a million pieces. I miss you so much mom. Are you with dad? Are you dancing again? You’re going to be a great grandmother! Sally told us yesterday. There’s so much i want to say. Love you mom.

This is part of the Writing Prompt Series Announced in this post.

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