Unapologetically me written over a yellow box

I’ve always been a try-er. I can’t remember a day I wasn’t a part of some challenge I had set for myself. I can’t remember a time where I was just exsisting with no goal in mind. Granted, as a preteen my goals were less elaborate than they are now. “I want to stay up for 24 hours!” I remember, was one early goal. Little did I know I would get to complete this goal many times over ten years later in college.

“I’m going to read this book in two days!” Was another. There was no prize, nobody assuring I completed it, but it was FUN. And that’s why I still do it to this day. I find challenges fun. It’s probably the gamer coming out in me. A quest, a challenge, something to beat and win and accomplish. It gives me motivation, purpose, excitement and entertainment!

I know I can be a bit much for people. I am intense and show all my emotions pretty clearly. I’m excited often and I get loud and overwhelming to those not prepared haha. I have, in the past, felt shame for being the way I am. That negative self talk would set in… “You talk too much, you’re going to overwhelm people, you need to calm down, you need to care less…” I never saw this as negative self talk though, I always thought it was constructive critisism. It wasn’t, it was my insecurities about how others would see me trying to change who I was. Trying to tone me down from a ten to a five. Lower the volume, speak less, don’t be so passionate. WHAT.

Maybe it’s that I have a kid now. Maybe it was just the stars aligning to allow me to see. I would never want Eli to think anything like that! I want him to express himself fully, openly, without shame, without fear of what anyone may think or say. Just be exactly who he is and let the world think whatever they want. I want him to be loud if he wants to and express his thoughts as often as he wants to. So why should I “calm down”? Why should I tone myself down? Why should I feel sorry for overwhelming people?

It’s pretty clear in my mind now. As this lovely woman I met recently, Lindsay Tompkins, says, “If I’m too much for you, then I’m not for you.” I’m going to try all the things, and I’m going to talk about them. I will fail at things and I will more openly share my faliures, and just as openly share my successes. I will try things that seem insane to you. I will try things that you may want to roll your eyes at. But I will try them, and I will have fun with it all. Because just like some people get enjoyment out of movies, video games, going to theme parks, etc, I get enjoyment out of trying new things and seeing how I do. I get enjoyment out of setting weird challenges for myself and trying to complete them.

So if you’re that eye rolling, unsupportive, “Maria is too much,” type person in my life. Chao! And because my word is gratitude for the year, Thank you! Thank you for making me learn some lessons about sticking up for myself, for making me learn that you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, for making me learn that sometimes in life you’re going to be faced with negativity and it has nothing to do with you but with them. All we can control is how we react to situations, so I will continue to grow and work on not getting so worked up when someone is rude or dismissive but rather smile, flip my hair and say “Thank you, NEXT.”

“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.” 

— Jen Sincero, You Are A Badass
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11things

I was nominated by Lisa and you can check out her answers here! Here we go!

Would you rather be able to sing or dance?

This is a hard one! I love singing, I sing every day! But since I started doing pole dancing I have really wished I was able to dance naturally and flow form one move to the other. I think it’d be so neat to be able to hear a song and come up with a choreography to it!! I think I’ll have to choose singing for this one!!

What is your favourite thing to do during “me” time?

During my ‘me’ time I hop between many activities! It really all depends on my mood and what I’ve been into that week! These activities could involve reading pregnancy books, pinning baby articles on my pinterest, writing fiction, working on my beachbody business where I am a free fitness coach to those looking to get started on the path towards health and fitness, cuddling with my puppy, learning a new song on the guitar… I have way too many hobbies!

If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?

If I could travel anywhere I’d have to take my husband with me and go to Bora Bora because he’s always wanted to go there and it’s just so overly expensive that I think just a free trip will get us there haha.

High heels or flats?

FLATS. All day every day. I wear heels when I go out with my girlfriends out dancing but on a regular basis? Flats.

What time do you get up in the morning?

It varies so much, depending on what I’m doing that day, on a regular basis i’ll be up anywhere from 7am to 8:30am!

What is your favorite holiday?

Christmas for sure. I love Christmas music, Christmas decorations, family time, the smell of christmas candles and cinamon. It’s to pearly white outside. it’s a great time overall!!

What is the one thing you would splurge on even if you have no money?

Board Games! Endless hours of fun, you really get your money’s worth!! I am obsessed with strategy board games that may seem confusing to many and take like a full hour or so to LEARN. So fun.

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate. Always!

What is your guilty pleasure song?

Any Disney song, Backstreetboys song, Avril – but def Disney, I can listen to Disney songs all day.

Where was the last place you ate dinner out at?

The Works!! It’s hard to find a good veggie burger, and then harder to find a place that has veggie burgers AND gluten free buns! I LOVE their Spicy Die Cut Chips!

Your favorite place to be in the whole world?

Home on the couch with my husband making plans for our next trip!

I nominate:

  1. Chasin’ Mason
  2. Loving Littles
  3. Discovering Parenthood

Here are YOUR 11 questions!

  1. What is your favourite quality in others?
  2. If you were an animal what would you be?
  3. What is the last nice thing someone did for you?
  4. What was your favourite subject in highschool?
  5. If you could travel somewhere for free where would you go?
  6. What would you tell your 18 year old self?
  7. What is your favourite hobby?
  8. If you wrote an ebook what would the title be?
  9. Why do you blog?
  10. What colour would your hair be if upkeep wasn’t an issue?
  11. What’s your favourite store? What’s the last thing you bought there?
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