I’ve been struggling with something lately that has kept me from my regular routine. I’ve been thinking about ignoring it and posting about healthy recipes and how to be motivated to workout but honestly, right now, I’d feel like a hypocrite if I did any of those things. I think it’s easy to think I have it all figured out. I rarely do let my walls down as I believe in positivity and sharing all that is good and bright with the world. The dark things, well I keep those to myself, as I do not think they will benefit anyone or make anyone’s day better, and really that’s part of the reason I share so much of me. I want to help, I want others to be well, I want to make you think about something mundane in a new light. It’s something that fills my heart.

When I struggle, and I fall, and I have trouble following my own advice I just go silent. I stop posting for a few days and barely look at social media. And it happens. I often go through waves and I’m working constantly on balance. I like to try things. Everyone knows that one thing about me. They may also know I tend to try hard, and intensely and sometimes I wear myself out in the midst of it all. I need a break I retreat from everything and cocoon myself until I feel recharged and ready to go again. It’s something I’ve done most of my adult life and it has got to stop.

I love how lost I get in the excitement of something new. I love how much of myself I give to people and situations and things I’m interested in. I love all of it. I don’t love the moments I feel down, depressed, crippled with an inability to get up and do anything productive. When focusing on simple tasks at work seem like they will use up all of my remaining gasps of energy and when the idea of making food is so tiring I’d rather sleep for hours on end. Therefore, change has to happen. I write this, still unsure if I will publish it but I’m a writer, and this is how I heal, this is my therapy, this is how I make sense of things and see them for the first time very clearly. It’s like speaking with myself in an uncluttered environment because the page is blank when I start speaking and you can only write one word at a time. The countless things in my mind have to get in line and only one thought can come out at a time. A peaceful reflexion when the haze of everything threatens to take over. I love writing.

Unable to write anything else, I think this will do. I’ve sat down to blog about countless other things this last month, but nothing would come. Sitting here minutes after pouring this out I am sure this is what I needed to do in order to break the wall of my creativity and motivation.

I am doing well and I have an amazing support system in my family and friends. I hope if you’ve been struggling with motivation, getting started on your plans or projects, or simply struggling with getting through the day and still smiling, then know it happens to all of us. We’re always switching from one end of the spectrum to the other. Sometimes you’re up while other times you’re down. No matter the reason, know you’re not alone. And sometimes this cloud leaves as quickly as it came while other times some work has to be done in order to keep it moving right along.

Yay to breaking the wall. Up next, a recap of all the great things June brought with it.

Much love always,

Mariangelica


Photo by Dean Johns on Unsplash

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I turned 27, and no, I am still not an expert at life (is anyone, really?) but I have learned a few life lessons that I wasn’t entirely aware of in my teen years that I wish I had known. I wanted to share them, in case any of these resonated with some of your own life lessons. Let me know in the comments what’s one thing you’ve learned in your life that you didn’t grasp when you were a teenager?

Let me know in the comments what’s one thing you’ve learned in your life that you didn’t grasp when you were a teenager?

1. Energy is real, and it’s important.

The energy we surround ourselves with every day is something to take note on. The energy we put out into the world with our thoughts will come to us. So be positive and surround yourself with positive, good, cleansing and healing energy and remove yourself from situations where you feel your energy being sucked out.

2. Take a compliment.

Being self conscious, having body image issues, feeling less then, or being insecure all lead to very many different ways of taking a compliment. Do you compliment back, do you believe they are just telling you that because they feel like they need to. Do you look down in the dumps and that’s why they said something nice to you? The amount of damaging thoughts we have sometimes it’s unreal. Just say “Thank you”.

3. Enjoy the time with your loved ones.

People go unexpectedly. They’re here today and gone tomorrow. There’s things I wanted to say, wish I would have said and long for just one more hug and smile from them. I know they’re in the most incredible spirit realm. I know and trust they are happy and calm and with all the goodness that are other pure souls, but if it’s taught me anything it’s to cherish those souls when they are around me in this plane. To hug and cherish every good time, and love deeply.

4. Green veggies are for all.

It doesn’t seem like that long ago that I lived off of morning sugary cereals with hormone filled cow milk, lunched on white bread (sugar) with a cold cut meat and some cheese and dined on the only proper meal of my day which was my mom’s home cooked dinners of usually steak, potatoes and rice, avoiding salads at all costs. My life has done a complete backflip, or would this be considered a front flip… I have educated myself and continue to do so (because really there’s just so much to learn) on the importance of food, the importance of real ingredients and the importance of eating locally grown produce. I’ve stopped eating land and air animals and my health has become of clear importance in my life.

5. Love fully and deeply.

There was once a quote I read that said something like “The one that loves less has more power in a relationship.” When I was young and was just getting over the biggest heart break of my teenage years I believed these words. I thought they made perfect sense. If I love less I’ll be protected, if I love less, I can’t be hurt.

But this, young me, was foolish and wrong and thankfully, you understood what true, real, and passionate love was all about and power was never a part of that homemade description. I have learned of love in these 27 years, and I will continue to learn from it when new milestones occur, and when there are little ones to love, but for now I am grateful for the lessons of love I have had so far, for I love fully, and deeply and with no holding back because there is no fear of ever being hurt.

6. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.

You have to believe it, because at the end of the day, no one else belief matters quite like yours. So trust yourself. This one took a while to learn.

7. Try something before you say you don’t like it.

This was not true of me in the past when it came to food that’s for sure, but when it comes to life, heck yes. I’m a trier. I try a bit of everything, and sometimes I get really passionate about something new and give it my all. Sometimes I burn out and lose focus, and other times I don’t. This is how you learn more about yourself, about what you’re like and about what you can do! Try everything! Say yes to the opportunity. Figure it out along the way!

8. Done is better than perfect.

Accomplishing something is better than quitting because you don’t feel like it will turn out quite how you want it to. I’ve been guilty of this so so so many times in the past. Why write that novel if I don’t think I’m very good? Why be a coach when I don’t have a facebook fan page. It doesn’t matter, you do it because you had told yourself you were going to, and breaking a promise to yourself just tells the universe you are not that important.

9. It’s all in the process.

The destination is pretty freaking cool. But the journey you take to getting there is where the story lies, it’s where the meat of the lesson is in.

10. Do the work.

You want to be something, do something, achieve something? Do the work, make hard decisions, wake up every day with full commitment and intention.

11. Knowing WHY is the most important piece of knowledge.

It doesn’t matter how you are going to do something or when, doesn’t even matter what you are going to do if you don’t know why you are doing it. When your why is strong you will not fail, you will not quit and you will give it your all.

12. I have a lot more to give of myself, and to be.

I am young, although my mind fights me on that one and whispers how close 3-0 truly is. Truthfully, I am excited for what is to come and how my role as a woman will change over the next few years. I am in love with the idea that I will become someone else, a new version of me when I become a mother and am looking forward to all that I will gain from it.

13. Focus on what you can control, and only that.

I’m a planner, and plans are always written down, on paper, in ink. Not erasable, and crystal clear. Life though doesn’t always get the memo, and sad things happen that surprise you by morphing into wonderful lessons on patience and strength.

14. Lighten up, and don’t take yourself so seriously.

It’s ok to be silly, it’s ok to joke around and have a funny conversation just because and not because it’s tied to a specific goal. Breathe, live and enjoy.

15. Every person has a story.

It’s complicated and raw, it has hardships and it has beauty. It seems easy to some, and impossible to others. But they are all real and they are all special and they all have meaning.

16. The world will only change when you do.

Complaining and sharing depressing news about the state of the world on social media won’t get us anywhere. If there’s something you want changed, you want people to be kinder, more giving, more self less, more trustworthy, then you have to start with yourself. Change yourself and you can change the world.

17. Finances are something to get educated about.

How I wish finances were a topic in high-school, in middle school even, and it should be mandatory for every college student to take a course in. For someone who has a slight anxiety issue when it comes to money, the only way I was able to have peace of mind was when we got our finances in order. There is endless information on the internet but for the most part this statement rings true: “Don’t spend what you don’t have, and give every dollar a job.”

18. Vacation and let loose.

Take time for yourself and your relationship. Disconnect and unwind. Do nothing for 3 days and lounge in your PJs, no matter the style of vacationing you prefer. Make the time, give it importance because these are moments our soul needs to reset.

19. Smiles are powerful.

A stranger on the street, someone passing you on the hallway. Smiling makes people’s lives better. They can save lives, they can make invisible people seen. They have power we do not understand.

20. Learn more life lessons

Be a sponge, learn from everyone, gather inspiration from the world. Teach yourself about life.

21. Gratefulness is key in attracting good things in life.

The law of attraction, have you heard of it? Well did you know it works just as well if we complain and think negative thoughts? We’ll just have more of that, which nobody wants. Instead we need to focus on being grateful for all we have, every day, every moment. When we practice this every day we will see the things we are grateful for will multiply!

22 People deserve a second chance.

People have wronged me, they’ve been cruel, and horrible. They could be family, they could be friends, either way. Bless and release. If they care enough to try again, to rekindle what was there, and you feel safe in doing so, people deserve another chance. You may be surprised with who they’ve become!

23. I will never escape stress.

Stress is felt by everyone in many different ways, and accepting that it’s something that will morph and grow with me is something I have learned to understand. Management of stress and understanding how it manifests are all topics to learn more about and knowing that just because you don’t ‘feel’ stressed doesn’t mean you aren’t. Sometimes it is reflected in a weak body part or muscle.

24. Your passion is everything.

Find what you are passionate about and when you find a way to do that every day, the amount of happiness and joy it will bring into your life will be incredible and noticed by all.

25. Minimalism is the key to many issues.

Buy less things, accumulate less things, spend money on experiences. Collect memories. Live freely.

26. Family is more than blood.

Sometimes you find family along the way.

27. I am enough.

I need only be who I want to be. There is just one person who can be me, and it’s me. I am intelligent, honest and caring. I am my friend, and I am enough.

27 Life lessons. In 27 years. If I live to be 100, I’ll have learned 73 more. Ooof, long way to go! So much to experience, so much to learn.

Much love,

Mariangelica

 

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unsupportive

There are many things that happen when you start a new routine. A change in your life that you’re working towards. It could be anything. You’re a heavy spender and shopper and you’re trying to save more. You’re known to snack often on unhealthy foods and you’re now trying to dial in your nutrition. You never work out and are now starting a new workout challenge where you have daily workouts… You get my drift. A change beyond your ’normal’ beyond your ‘usual’. Many things happen! There is all this excitement that you feel from starting this new challenge! You’re pumped and eager to start. You prep really well and get mentally prepared for the hard times, but you know why you are doing this and you can’t wait to get started. This excitement is intoxicating and this is the time where you may find some people who are going to be there to keep your fire going! Those personal cheerleaders you knew you had and maybe didn’t know you had!

Motivation from others is amazing, it doesn’t just keep you accountable but it really does help. I know in my personal journey when I started doing the 21 day fix, I had incredible support from my husband and some friends but… and there’s always a ‘but’ – there were many people who kind of rolled their eyes, and told me it’d be fun for a week but that I’d probably stop doing it and not finish. They gave a quick laugh and said “Oh is this one of those other weird things you’re trying?” – These weren’t enemies or people whom I didn’t like. These were some of the closest people to me, even got some scoffs and eyes being rolled from FAMILY! Ouch! It was hard! At first I was hurt a bit confused and angry, and for a moment, doubted too that I would be able to finish the program I set myself to achieve, but in talking to some others going through the same program, I found that I wasn’t alone! Why was this so common?? Why were we all getting some negativity from some of the closest people?? I came up with this list through experience and in asking some people close to me! Here’s some reasons why you may be getting some negativity from someone close to you and how to deal with these: For the purposes of answering I will answer these relating to a new fitness/nutrition program, but they can be applied to many different lifestyle changes!! (you stop smoking, you want to save more, you want to watch less TV, you want to volunteer more etc)

1. They don’t want you to get down if you quit halfway through.

They know what happened last time you started a fitness/nutrition plan. They saw you quit halfway and saw how down you got about the whole thing. They had to be there to pick you up and lift you back up and are afraid of this happening again! Explain to them that you appreciate their concern but you need all the positive energy you can get! And then use THAT promise to keep you accountable through your journey!

2. They think it’s a fad or something unrealistic that isn’t sustainable.

They might not know enough about it!! The truth is there ARE many fad diets and magic pills out there that claim to fix you in 3 or seven days. But this is where they are just misinformed! When I mentioned I was doing the 21 day fix I think some of the negativity came from one of my friends thinking that it was a crazy diet meant to give me dramatic results and that I’d gain it all back after! When I explained I actually eat five times a day and everything is natural ingredients, no pills full of chemicals, and that my workout program is a super quick 30 minutes a day routine she backed off and actually became a bit interested in what it was all about!

3. They see themselves in your faults and by you wanting to change your bad habits they feel like they need to change too and they aren’t happy about that.

Many people have things they have in common with you and if you used to bond over your hate of broccoli but neither one of you had tried it and when you did you loved it it removes things you used to dislike or have a laugh about together! They might start to realize they should be trying new foods too but don’t want to feel that pressure! Remind them this is your journey and they are not forced to do anything!

4. They use you as their ‘bad habit allowance’

They know that you love donuts, and it’s their guilty pleasure too, so although they don’t go out of their way to get it and they surely don’t eat it around other friends, with YOU they know they can pig out on a half a dozen donuts and not feel bad about themselves because you’re just like them! When you stop eating donuts they don’t have anyone to do this with and have to realize they may be making some bad decisions and you changing your habits are bringing this to light, which makes them upset. Explain WHY you stopped eating donuts but don’t push anything on them. Inform don’t preach!

5. They feel like they’ll see you or hear from you less.

Just like joining a club or picking up a new hobby, making fitness and nutrition a part of your life might make them feel like now they’ll never see you because you’re going to turn into a gym lover who is always ‘heading to the gym’ and is obsessed with calories. Talk to them! Reassure them that your goal requires time but it’s not going to take over your free time like they may be thinking!

6. They are afraid of you turning into a food police and that you may start judging them.

No one wants to feel judged, and now that you’re being more conscious about what you eat they are afraid of getting judged when opening up their lunch box or ordering together at a restaurant and that makes them feel uncomfortable. Make sure they know that you don’t feel uncomfortable around other types of foods and that you’d never judge them!

7. They have seen you try things in the past and fail, how is this different?

They genuinely don’t believe you’ll finish it! It’ll be like that scarf you never finished or the dance classes you left unused and they expired. How is this challenge different? Tell them why! Because enough is enough and you know you are worth it! So talk to them!

8. They think it’s a scam (if you had to pay for anything related to your lifestyle change)

I got a lot of this from people close to me when I purchased my challenge pack. They didn’t give me much time to explain all that it brought and how each thing was beneficial to making this lifestyle change easier! I found that I wanted to share with them all about it but I was afraid of coming off sales-y or like I had drank the koolaid.. Eventually I realized if they cared enough to show their concern I could care enough to do what I had to do to make sure they understood how this was NOT a scam and share all I knew about it with them!

9. They are afraid to realize they need to change too.

Seeing you start to get your results, seeing you work so hard to get what you want may make them realize that they should be doing the same thing. And who wants to realize they need to change? Remember how hard it was for you! Be there for them if they need to talk and share the journey with them!

10. They may actually not be as good of an influence as you may think.

Sometimes you have to realize that there is bound to be some bad energy out in the world and you need to focus on you and only allow good energy into your life. If you have a friend that is continuously negative and unsupportive even though you’ve talked with them about how it bothers you and that you need SUPPORT, maybe distancing yourself from that person if possible is a good idea. I say communication can solve all and any issue, but sometimes, it may exhaust you and drain you. So keep our energy for where it’s best used. To be happy, to share in positive engagements, to workout, and to eat your healthy meals!!

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